MARCH 9 • TRUE LEADERSHIP • EPISODE 69
Make It Till You Fake It! 
You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. Matthew 7:5
What? A wordplay on Fake It Till You Make It. Another vote for authenticity. I don’t know where this originated, but it clearly was not from a leader — or maybe it was a Level 1 Leader. Never fake it. Period. Never. Did I say never? Never. Most people will see through it. They may choose not to say or do anything about it, but you lose credibility which means you lose influence and now you’re back to not leading because no one is following.
If you don’t know something, say so — or at the very least, don’t act like you do know. If you don’t know and people find out, you’re rightly sunk. Say you don’t know! You can always know by tomorrow! Thereby strengthening your influence. As well, you teach others it’s okay not to know and then go learn and share! Which is what you want! You don’t want your team picking up your bad habits — not good for you or the team.
From a personality perspective, it’s easy for 75% of your people to slip into an attitude of FITYMI — the acronym for Fake It Till You Make It — nobody likes to be wrong or appear like they don’t know. But it’s okay not to know! Better to not know and then learn and know, then it is to not know, fake that you know, and be marked as a liar, faker, or simply untrustworthy. If you struggle here, go back and listen to January 17 on Honesty (Episode 17), January 19 on Integrity (Episode 19), and January 27 on Authenticity (Episode 27). One thing I can guarantee — you will be found out. It is the way of things. Nota bene: btw the term, nota bene (nōtə běnē) is latin for note well; to observe carefully or take special note of. It’s like saying therefore, but a little more emphasis. It’s abbreviated NB. Anyway, nota bene — don’t MITYFI with your kids. Teach them that it’s good to not know and go find out. Help them be curious and it will serve them well all their lives.
So how to you battle this? You must create a culture of candor. Make it okay (meaning safe) for people to ask questions — to challenge the status quo. I’ll go one step further — make asking questions your main form of communication! Seriously. And not simply yes or no type questions, but questions that make people think and get to the heart —the root of the issue. Your team should be greater then any individual — the sum is greater than the parts. Humility dictates that you don’t lie and don’t act like something you’re not (see Humility January 20, Episode 20). It reminds me of The Fonz, The Fonz, Remember The Fonz? in an episode of Happy Days where he couldn’t say, I’m rrrrr… rrrrrr… I’m wrrrrong. If you live by FITYMI, then you will teach others to do the same and pretty soon you will have a team of fakers — and that’s deadly. Be the change you want in others. Let your team know it’s not okay to FITYMI — but it is okay to say you don’t know and then find the answer or learn the skill.
This is such a subtle thing. You can do this without lying so you’re technically not lying — but you are deceiving — which is misleading — or lying with actions. Lead your team by unleashing their authenticity and gaining the skills they need to succeed!
Quotes for the Day:
“People love to say, ‘You gotta fake it till you make it.’ But this implies that the fake you is someone better than who you inherently are, and this is simply not the truth. Let me say this loud and clear: the person you imagine yourself to be in the very best and most powerful moments of your life, is the authentic you. And in truth, I imagine you’re probably much more amazing even than that.”
~Richie Norton
“Authenticity is also about the courage and the vulnerability to say, ‘Yeah, I’ll try it. I feel pretty uncomfortable, but I’ll try it!’”
~Brené Brown
Action: Here’s your takeaway: Be who you are please, not who you are not. If you know something, fine. Say so. If you do not know, fine. Say so. Also, don’t act like you know — be immediate and specific in communicating your understanding. It allows everyone to proceed with knowledge and wisdom and you help the team immensely. Otherwise, you bring the team down — and that’s just not right. Do the right thing and the next right thing. Get all the right information into the pool of knowledge.
Pray: Lord, help me be candid with my team and teach them to be candid with each other; help me set the example they need to thrive…
That’s it! Much love and blessings. See you tomorrow.
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