Create a Paradigm Shift in your Marriage

“You saved my marriage!”

As I finished my workshop on understanding personalities at a recent educators’ conference, person after person came to my booth telling me how it had changed their way of thinking—giving them a new understanding of things they had not considered. They shared how they now understand a certain person and how they believe it will change their relationship—or at least it had changed their own understanding. It helped them see this other person in a new light—and it helped them understand themselves so much better. And the real kicker? The first person they now understand better is their spouse.

One woman came up to me and said, “After your workshop, I went and called my husband—it was the first time I totally understood everything he said to me since we have been married. I so get him now!” Another person pulled me aside from my booth and confided—“My marriage literally was on the rocks. It was done—but this brings new light to our relationship.” True stories—these are verbatim quotes. And this wasn’t even a marriage conference!

One after another they came over the duration of the conference sharing how they now have new insight into their marriage—their spouse—and their children. Even though I didn’t make the workshop marriage or family specific, I think it had the effect on them according to what was most important to them relationally.

So what did I say that caused this paradigm shift in their thinking? What magic button did I push? What proverb of old did I bring forth?

I divided the attendees into the four main personality types and proceeded to show them exactly who they are based on understanding a couple of things they already know about themselves. Once each person moved into the four groups, I showed them how many things can be known about their personality based on their primary personality trait—which in truth, is a lot of things. They were astonished how almost everything about their personality could be known and it showed them who they really are. It was an awesome time together.

You see, once you understand that human behavior is very predictable, you understand how we respond and react to certain things—and you can help people get a glimpse of themselves that they have never seen before. It’s how we’re wired at the factory—the way God made us—and it can be known!

Then I taught them how to understand themselves better and how to understand others better and speak someone’s personality language. All in one hour. Imagine if I had a few hours to really help them learn what to look for!

Frankly, it’s no wonder. We—that is, the most beautiful and wonderful woman in the world affectionately known as my bride—and I, teach a weekend Marriage Encounter called, “I’m So Glad I Married You.” Using these same principles and methodology, we go into a much greater depth so not only do you learn how to understand human behavior better, you learn what really makes your spouse tick, what fuels them, and how you can speak their language to really communicate and connect.

It’s not uncommon to hear people throughout a weekend say things like, “So that’s why I do that!” or “It makes so much sense now” or “Had I known this 20 years ago, it would have saved a lot of pain and anguish.”

You will never look at each other the same way again. Plus, no personality is good or bad, right or wrong—just different. Now that’s not to say that some people don’t do bad things, but that’s a different issue—not a personality issue.

If you’re not married yet, this is one of the greatest ways to learn about the other person. The insights that you will gain will help you discover your spouse-to-be in ways you could never have thought of. You will not be wondering why they are so different than you—you will learn the reasons and learn to totally connect with them. There are people who have been married for over 40 years that still don’t understand each other—they just co-exist together leading separate lives—or worse—they got divorced a long time ago—in their hearts.

I don’t mean to make this sound like it’s magic, it’s not. Nor is it mumbo-jumbo. But it is science and it’s all based on what you tell us—so, unless you don’t know what your own basic likes and dislikes are—we can show you how to connect at the deepest levels. And even if one of you is emotionally immature, we can help you learn to develop in that area, too. You see, God wired us a certain way for the sake of the body—we need to understand that way and use that knowledge to grow and apply who we are.

So what are we selling? A weekend encounter with you, your spouse, and a hundred of your closest friends! Face it, it’s a lot more fun doing this with a group and it makes it easier to understand when you see so many others in the same situation! You realize that you’re not the only ones—not by a long shot.

Here’s the deal.

Go talk to your pastor or whoever handles counseling and marriage ministry at your church, and give them this link here—it’s the info on our weekend seminar. Ask them to bring this seminar into your church and my bride and I will come and show you how to have a far better, far deeper, far less stressful, and more productive marriage starting the first evening of the seminar. It’s only $99 per couple, which will save you a million-dollars worth of headache and heartache throughout life. A great investment at 10 times the price.

And while we’re there, we can lead our Level Up seminar for the youth on Sunday morning with their parents so you can understand your children in the same way. Imagine understanding your children correctly for the rest of their lives.

My bride and I have been married for 42 years—and we are total opposites. Total. I mean like 177° opposite (180° is total opposite). On the Relationship Graph—which we will do for every couple—we are three points from total opposite. And because we understand how the other person is wired, we have learned to accept instead of reject, to embrace instead of make fun of—and we will teach you how to do the same thing.

Please don’t put this off—we only have so many weekends available and we would love to bring this to your church as soon as possible. See the Flyer here for detailed information. You can also call us at 800-328-2390 or email jody@WeAreCaris.com to reserve your weekend. See you there!

Royce & Jody White